Even an amicable divorce can be one of the most stressful times in life. But when a divorcing spouse starts spreading false allegations about you, the stress escalates significantly. False claims of abuse, neglect, or financial misconduct can not only harm your reputation but your standing in the divorce outcome–including, if you have children, the custody arrangements. To minimize the threat of false allegations, arm yourself with knowledge and hire an attorney.

The 3 Steps You Must Take Immediately

Once unleashed, false allegations can have immediate and far-reaching consequences. Here are the steps you can take to minimize the impact of false allegations in a divorce.

Step 1: Stay Calm and Stay Quiet

Your first instinct when you are faced with a false allegation may be to fight back. While technology’s “reply all” and “comment” buttons make it especially easy to jump into the conflict, it is essential that you resist the temptation to engage. Do not defend yourself. Do not launch a counter attack. Anything you say or post or send can become evidence for the divorcing spouse–and can be manipulated and misinterpreted to further weaken your case. Stay calm and stay quiet.

Step 2: Hire a Family Law Attorney

Do not give your divorcing spouse an advantage by waiting to hire an attorney. In Oklahoma, unchecked false allegations in a divorce can have a lasting impact on property division, support orders, and child custody decisions. Your attorney will guide you on the steps you need to take to protect your reputation and your legal case and provide a list of information that will help begin the process. You may be instructed to bring information to your initial consultation like:

• All text messages, social media posts, and emails related to the allegation. Take screen shots, save them, and create a digital folder.
• All documents and other information that disprove the false allegations.
• All witnesses and their contact information.
• Your detailed notes about any in-person false allegations that include the date, time, location, and witnesses.

Step 3: Build Your Case

Despite that urge to fight back, take a breath. Take the high road today to protect your credibility later. In a contentious divorce, discipline is key. Reduce all communication with your spouse and keep any necessary interactions brief and to the point. Communicate in writing only if possible and be sure to avoid any language that could be misinterpreted. Avoid discussing your divorce on any digital channel including email, social media, and text–once you hit “send” or “post” you have lost control of who has access. And finally, continue documenting everything: conversations, visits with your children, any additional false accusations, and anything else you think might be relevant. Further, follow your attorney’s advice closely and ask questions when they arise.

Why the Motive Behind the False Allegation May Be Important

False allegations can be just a heat-of-the-moment expression of anger, pain, or retaliation. But false allegations can also be motivated by an insidious end goal. Understanding the potential motive may help you and your attorney anticipate and prepare for your divorcing spouse’s next move. Common motives behind false accusations include:

• Gaining an advantage in child custody decisions: a false claim of abuse or neglect can have a huge impact on custody or visitation arrangements.
• Financial advantage: the courts’ determination of property division or support orders such as alimony can be influenced by false allegations of fraud or financial wrongdoing.
• Leverage: an attack on your character can weaken your position in any settlement negotiations or in the courtroom.

Identifying the reason behind your divorcing spouse’s false claims can help guide your legal strategy.

Special Considerations When Child Custody Is at Stake

Oklahoma courts take allegations of harming or neglecting a child seriously. Even though the accusation is false, you must treat it as urgent. An allegation like this may lead to an investigation by Child Protective Services. It is important to cooperate fully but carefully. You may be asked to make a statement, to provide documentation, or to allow a home visit or interview. Your attorney will provide guidance on how to comply and it is essential that you follow it. In some cases, enlisting the help of a neutral third-party professional may benefit your case. You can request that the court consider appointing a guardian at litem or custody evaluator (typically a social worker or psychologist) to review the situation objectively. A professional opinion can provide the court with valuable insight as to what is in the child’s best interests.

False Allegations Are a Two-Way Street

Dealing with false allegations adds an extra layer of stress to a divorce case. As overwhelming as it may be to have to defend against them, remember that the divorcing spouse making the false allegations risks the tactic backfiring. Oklahoma judges are well aware of the different strategies and tactics used in a contentious divorce. Your family law attorney will use discovery tools such as interrogatories (written questions), depositions (sworn testimony), and requests for production (providing records or documents for inspection) to explore the false allegations.

These tools will be used to examine the truth of the allegations. In some cases, proven false allegations can give rise to a defamation claim against the alleging spouse. In addition, a judge who identifies a pattern of false allegations will likely find the spouse making the false allegations to be less credible and take this into consideration in the divorce decree and child custody arrangements.

Work with an Oklahoma Family Law Attorney

You do not have to face false allegations in a divorce or custody case alone. At Titus Hillis Reynolds Love, we understand how these claims work and how to defeat them. We will keep your case focused on the truth. Contact our office today and schedule your consultation. Defend yourself against false allegations and win back your future.