Divorce doesn't always have to mean preparing for a fight in court. For couples who are willing to work together, collaborative divorce offers another way to resolve issues. Oklahoma has specific laws governing the collaborative process. Understanding how the process works can help you decide whether it's a good fit for your situation.

Key Takeaways

• Collaborative divorce is an alternative to traditional divorce.
• Both parties must voluntarily agree to actively participate in good faith.
• The collaborative divorce must follow the process outlined in Oklahoma law.
• Either party can choose to terminate the process and proceed with traditional litigation.

What Is Collaborative Divorce?

When two people decide to get divorced, they have the option of choosing to use the collaborative divorce process. To use this alternative dispute resolution method, both spouses must voluntarily agree to actively participate, without resorting to litigation. During the collaborative process, spouses work towards reaching an agreement without asking the court to make a ruling on disputed issues. Each spouse should hire an attorney to represent their individual interests. The attorneys will provide legal support to their clients to complete the process.

Depending on the circumstances, the spouses may seek the assistance of additional professionals. A collaborative team may include a:

• Financial professional
• Mental health professional
• Divorce coach
• Child specialist

A collaborative divorce is not a mediation. Collaborative divorce is a structured process. Each spouse has separate counsel, and the parties themselves work toward an agreement. As part of the process, Oklahoma law requires collaborative divorce attorneys to discuss whether the process is appropriate. They must explain potential benefits and risks. They will also discuss potential alternatives, such as litigation, mediation, or arbitration with potential clients.

Collaborative Divorce vs. Traditional Divorce Litigation

The collaborative divorce process is a modern approach to divorce that encourages a cooperative mindset for the separating spouses. The parties actively work together to negotiate an agreeable outcome for everyone. Each spouse will hire their own collaborative divorce attorney to represent them.

All of this is different from the traditional divorce process where each spouse hires a litigation divorce attorney to represent them. In litigation, the lawyers advocate for their clients in court in front of a judge. Each side argues for their position, and the judge decides based on the law. The process can become more adversarial. The traditional process could involve a mediation phase, typically before the parties appear in court. This is different from collaborative divorce. A neutral third party will mediate the negotiation process. If the parties cannot agree, the judge will make the final decision.

How Does the Collaborative Divorce Process Work?

The collaborative divorce process begins by both spouses agreeing to participate in good faith. One spouse cannot force the other into collaborative divorce. Each spouse must seek out and hire their own collaborative divorce attorney to represent them. The attorneys will assist their clients with following the process required under the Uniform Collaborative Law Act. They will also evaluate proposed agreements and provide suggestions for negotiating issues for resolution.

The parties will formalize their intentions by signing a collaborative law participation agreement. This agreement establishes the rules and commitments governing the process. The agreement must meet the requirements outlined in Oklahoma’s laws.

With an agreement in place, the spouses can begin addressing issues. They must address all of the issues that would have been addressed in court during a traditional divorce litigation.

• Property and debts
• Income and expenses
• Child custody and parenting arrangements
• Child support
• Spousal support/alimony
• Retirement accounts and other financial assets
• What happens with pets
• Other divorce-related concerns

When children are involved, spouses must agree to an arrangement that meets Oklahoma’s approach of prioritizing the children’s best interests. Meetings to work through issues may take place over multiple sessions. The goal is to reach agreements that both parties can accept. Once a final agreement is reached, court approval is required. The attorneys prepare the necessary documents and submit them to the court. A judge will review the agreement and enter the official divorce decree, making it legally binding.

Can Common-Law Spouses Use Collaborative Divorce?

Oklahoma law recognizes common-law marriages. If a couple has established a valid common-law marriage, they generally must obtain a legally valid divorce to end the marriage. However, if the existence of the common-law marriage itself is disputed, that issue may need to be resolved by a court before the parties can proceed with the common-law divorce. Only a judge can determine whether a common-law marriage actually exists.

Benefits of Collaborative Divorce

If a collaborative divorce is the right option, there are several benefits that come with it. Primarily, the parties retain more control over the outcome. Because the spouses are working together, they can make the decisions instead of leaving them up to a judge. Those decisions are also made outside of the courtroom, helping to maintain privacy. Oklahoma law also provides confidentiality protections for communications made during the collaborative process.

There is also greater flexibility in developing solutions. Spouses can create a plan that is custom-tailored to their future family structure. The process encourages the parties to work toward an agreement rather than building a case against each other.

While it’s generally believed that collaborative divorce can be more affordable and faster than traditional divorce, this is situation-specific. Cost and duration depend on the complexity of the case, the parties' ability to cooperate, the number of professionals involved, and whether an agreement can actually be reached.

When Collaborative Divorce May Not Be the Right Choice

Despite the many benefits of collaborative divorce, it isn’t always the best option for every situation. A collaborative divorce may not be the right choice if one spouse is unwilling to participate in the process in good faith. It could potentially be problematic if there is a significant power imbalance between the spouses. However, this relies on individuals’ ability to engage in a fair and meaningful negotiation. It may also not be ideal in a situation where one spouse is hiding assets or refusing to provide their full financial information.

Finally, a collaborative divorce is likely to be unsuccessful in situations where the spouses have fundamentally incompatible positions and cannot work toward compromise. It’s also generally not recommended in situations involving domestic violence, coercion, or intimidation. Oklahoma law specifically requires consideration of whether the collaborative process is appropriate when there is a history of coercion or violence. These circumstances can affect whether a spouse is able to participate voluntarily and negotiate meaningfully.

What Happens If Collaborative Divorce Doesn't Work?

Sometimes the spouses may choose the collaborative process, but it ultimately isn’t the right option. Either party can choose to terminate the collaborative process. Oklahoma family law expressly provides that participation is voluntary. Termination can happen with or without cause. However, if the collaborative process is terminated and the parties still want to divorce, they may be required to continue with the traditional litigation process. There may be other dispute-resolution options, depending on the circumstances.

Before terminating, both parties should understand the consequences. Under Oklahoma Statute §12-3309, if a collaborative law process terminates, the collaborative attorney and any lawyers in their associated law firm are disqualified from representing a party in any court proceeding related to the collaborative matter. Both parties must hire completely new, independent attorneys for litigation if they choose to take their divorce dispute to court.

Talk to an Oklahoma Collaborative Divorce Attorney

For couples who can work together, collaborative divorce can keep important decisions in their own hands. That doesn't mean the process is right for everyone. Both spouses must be willing to participate, exchange information, and negotiate in good faith. If you're unsure whether the process fits your situation, a collaborative divorce attorney at Titus Hillis can review your circumstances, explain your options, and help you make an informed decision about how to proceed. Schedule a consultation with a collaborative divorce attorney to discuss your situation.